Apple-sleaze

Upon conclusion of a short shopping trip to one of the more "ghetto" of the malls in the DSM, Abbey and I decided to dine at one of the more "ghetto" of dining establishments in the DSM...Applebee's. We enjoy the grease-bombs every once in a while. Tonight was one of those times. Though the food was delightfully sub-par, the atmosphere was even better.

We were seated in a booth next to a couple of wonderful characters, later I discovered them to be some of the best of America's organized labor. Appearances mean very little to me, I appreciate the creative facial hair, tattoos, and sleeveless shirts; but it was these fine gentlemen's conversation that riveted, disgusted, and caused much laughter at the Mick table. They discussed copulating with plump, Lutheran girls. One of them informed nearly the entire restaurant that his wife found him to be one of the horniest men she had ever come across. But the conversation which caused the most laughter from us is detailed below. I hope you enjoy. For a frame of reference: both men were more than slightly inebriated.
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waitress (placing check on the table)- "Is there anything else I can get you, another soda or maybe some dessert?"

man - "Do I look like I need dessert? I'm stuffed and besides, I'm already a fat little man."

waitress (anticipating affirmation) - "That's alright, I'm a fat little woman."

man (flirtatiously smooth) - "Yeah, but you have nice nails."

waitress (dejectedly glances at her fingernails)
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God bless the U.S.A.....