I have become, since moving to this deplorable city, rather misophobic and, thusly, have become quasi-obsessed about hand washing. Today I am studying at Caribou and upon entering their restroom was greeted by this interesting looking contraption. It is the Dyson Airblade, the newest innovation in hand drying equipment. It is wicked awesome. You simply place both hands into it and draw them out slowly. In only a few seconds (seriously, I was blown away at how quickly this works) blades of forced air, one on the palms and another on the backs of your hands, sweep all existing moisture from your hands. It works much the same, in principle, as those dryers that blow the water around, but not off of, your car as you exit a car wash. However, this thing really works. Amazing.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Product Review: The Dyson Airblade
I have become, since moving to this deplorable city, rather misophobic and, thusly, have become quasi-obsessed about hand washing. Today I am studying at Caribou and upon entering their restroom was greeted by this interesting looking contraption. It is the Dyson Airblade, the newest innovation in hand drying equipment. It is wicked awesome. You simply place both hands into it and draw them out slowly. In only a few seconds (seriously, I was blown away at how quickly this works) blades of forced air, one on the palms and another on the backs of your hands, sweep all existing moisture from your hands. It works much the same, in principle, as those dryers that blow the water around, but not off of, your car as you exit a car wash. However, this thing really works. Amazing.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
They call it a molestache, I call it awesome.
I feel like I've got some decent growth here. I attribute it to the fact that my chest still doth protest any further hair growth, so the hairs have revolted, marched north, and burst forth from my upper lip. Abe hates it. I love it. I'm just wondering how long it will take her before she shaves it off in my sleep.
And, oh yeah, there's no voting. I don't care what any of you say. Mustaches are gloriously "in."
p.s. -- if you click on the image to enlarge it, you will see that I have some pretty good nose hair growth as well... and my lip is kinda sweaty...that's gross...but not the mustache...that's awesome!
Thursday, March 15, 2007
A short list of "unnecessaries."
1. It is unnecessary to charge $1.61 for a bottle of Mountain Dew.
2. It is absolutely unnecessary to eat crunchy and/or malodorous foodstuffs (including but not limited to granola, pretzels, potato chips, cereal, popcorn, crackers, anything flavored with garlic, or anything crunchy that is flavored with garlic) during class.
3. It is completely unnecessary to make me write two phone numbers as reference on a check, a ridiculous request in itself, but then give me attitude when I exclaim, “Two phone numbers?!? Beatrice, if you’re trying to hit on me, I must tell you, I’m a married man. Anyway, two phone numbers is a little overkill, you’re coming across a little stalker-ish from the start, not a good game plan.”
4. It is unnecessary for the Metra Rail to offer a discount for junior high students, while charging full price for college/grad students. Who has more money? Come on!
5. It is unnecessary to make an esoteric joke about Soren Kierkegaard and Immanuel Kant, during class, that only yourself and the professor will even begin to comprehend.
6. It is unreservedly unnecessary to have your girlfriend sit on the floor, betwixt your spread legs, so that you can give her an aggressively sensual and, might I add, an excessively thorough back massage in a public arena. (seriously, we’re going on 20 minutes here…bluck, yeck, geez.)
7. It is unnecessary to make apologies for your IBS. Rather, upon rushing into a dining establishment simply demand, with some sense of authority/desperation, the location of their restroom. After taking an uncomfortable amount of time in said restroom, exit confidently and state, "Alright, now I'm ready for lunch."
2. It is absolutely unnecessary to eat crunchy and/or malodorous foodstuffs (including but not limited to granola, pretzels, potato chips, cereal, popcorn, crackers, anything flavored with garlic, or anything crunchy that is flavored with garlic) during class.
3. It is completely unnecessary to make me write two phone numbers as reference on a check, a ridiculous request in itself, but then give me attitude when I exclaim, “Two phone numbers?!? Beatrice, if you’re trying to hit on me, I must tell you, I’m a married man. Anyway, two phone numbers is a little overkill, you’re coming across a little stalker-ish from the start, not a good game plan.”
4. It is unnecessary for the Metra Rail to offer a discount for junior high students, while charging full price for college/grad students. Who has more money? Come on!
5. It is unnecessary to make an esoteric joke about Soren Kierkegaard and Immanuel Kant, during class, that only yourself and the professor will even begin to comprehend.
6. It is unreservedly unnecessary to have your girlfriend sit on the floor, betwixt your spread legs, so that you can give her an aggressively sensual and, might I add, an excessively thorough back massage in a public arena. (seriously, we’re going on 20 minutes here…bluck, yeck, geez.)
7. It is unnecessary to make apologies for your IBS. Rather, upon rushing into a dining establishment simply demand, with some sense of authority/desperation, the location of their restroom. After taking an uncomfortable amount of time in said restroom, exit confidently and state, "Alright, now I'm ready for lunch."
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Today has been, so far and by all accounts, a grand day.
Upon waking this morning, it seemed as though today would be anything but grand. Circumstances did not bode well. First of all, Moody is on Spring Break, which means that the dining rooms are closed for the next two weeks. This means Abe and I are on our own for food, which is fine, it's nothing new. It's just not what we're used to. This brings me to the second circumstance; Abe dropped me off at school today and kept on down the road towards Des Moines. Since Moody is on Spring Break, she is on vacation and will spend a few days in the DSM. That's all fine, I'm so thrilled that she will have some time with her folks and her older sister, but that means that now, it is only I who am on my own for food. Which brings me to the third circumstance; Abe took the car.
So there I am; sans food, sans wife, sans car. All of this is combined with the fact that I'm tired (I work nights on Sunday and Monday, so by the time Tuesday rolls around I'm generally ready for the weekend), with the fact that I've been trudging through nearly 700 pages of Diarmaid MacCulloch's "The Reformation" (an incredibly thorough accounting of the Reformation done by a non-Christian scholar... interesting), with the fact that I started a new class today (Contemporary Theology: it will be incredibly interesting, but looks like it is going to be freakin' tough). Like I said, the stars weren't necessarily aligned as I greeted the day.
But let’s get to the grandness. First and foremost, it is beautiful here in Wheaton. T-shirt and shorts weather. This made a short walk from campus to the downtown area of Wheaton, following my new class, absolutely delightful. As I hit the downtown, I sauntered around looking for a dining establishment. I was hungry, so what could be better than a Mexican restaurant with bottomless chips and salsa? I tell you this baldly… nothing. I strode solo into an empty restaurant, it took a few minutes for the hostess/waitress/only other person in the room to notice me, but upon doing so, she quickly furnished me with an ice-cold Pepsi and a basket of hot, salty tortilla chips. As if this wasn’t grand enough, as I ate the restaurant began to fill. I love people watching and I must say that a Mexican restaurant at 3:15 in the afternoon is a fantastic place to do so.
One of the greatest demographics of people to watch has got to be, far and away, junior high girls. To my delight, the waitress seated a group of bubbly, awkward junior high girls directly next to my booth. As the girls critiqued everyone who walked past the window, they proceeded to order. All of them, with glee, ordered virgin margaritas. At this juncture, I must reflect on my own days as junior high student. I didn’t really have “friends,” in the strictest sense of the word. And if I did have “friends,” we would never have dreamed of sitting down for margaritas after school. We’d have been lucky to stop by Mike’s 76 for a candy bar, maybe even a pop if we were lucky. Hell, I remember a time when I felt pretty darn lucky if I got 25 cents to spend at the concession stand at the pool. Where are these kids’ parents and why have they (said parents) parted so willingly with their pocketbooks? There is nothing like a blatantly pessimistic commentary of contemporary society to put me in a chipper mood. Sounds a little dark, but honestly, I love those sorts of insights.
As I headed back to campus, with a full belly and a Pellegrino in hand, I decided to stop by the campus IT office for some assistance in connecting wirelessly to the network. I signed up months ago for the ability to do so, but have never quite figured out the proxies. I digress. It took a friendly, young nerd a few minutes to get me up and running. But as I waited I listened in on the frenzied conversation of a group of excitable geeks (it must be realized that I use these descriptors quite lovingly). They were jabbering away about the motion sensors in all of the new Mac laptops. Apparently there is a new failsafe mechanism in the new Macs that stops the hard drive if there is a sudden motion (drop) so that the disk won’t get scratched. This mechanism has brought much delight to the world of Mac nerdery. Smart individuals have figured out how to tinker with this motion sensor to make pinball games where you tilt your computer to play the game. It has even been used to turn your Mac into a lightsabre; as you swing your computer through the air, it makes the appropriate lightsabre sound as you accelerate or decelerate your very own iSabre. Delightful.
So here I am; full, wirelessly connected, and quite content. Though I am without an automobile, I fear not. For the train will whisk me back to the city at precisely 9:54 pm. I will, however, be a little lonely when I arrive. I love my wife and love spending time with her. We may be a little co-dependant, so the time apart will do us good. As for food, I’ll be fine. There is a Chipotle less than 6 blocks from our apartment.
Today has been, so far and by all accounts, a grand day.
So there I am; sans food, sans wife, sans car. All of this is combined with the fact that I'm tired (I work nights on Sunday and Monday, so by the time Tuesday rolls around I'm generally ready for the weekend), with the fact that I've been trudging through nearly 700 pages of Diarmaid MacCulloch's "The Reformation" (an incredibly thorough accounting of the Reformation done by a non-Christian scholar... interesting), with the fact that I started a new class today (Contemporary Theology: it will be incredibly interesting, but looks like it is going to be freakin' tough). Like I said, the stars weren't necessarily aligned as I greeted the day.
But let’s get to the grandness. First and foremost, it is beautiful here in Wheaton. T-shirt and shorts weather. This made a short walk from campus to the downtown area of Wheaton, following my new class, absolutely delightful. As I hit the downtown, I sauntered around looking for a dining establishment. I was hungry, so what could be better than a Mexican restaurant with bottomless chips and salsa? I tell you this baldly… nothing. I strode solo into an empty restaurant, it took a few minutes for the hostess/waitress/only other person in the room to notice me, but upon doing so, she quickly furnished me with an ice-cold Pepsi and a basket of hot, salty tortilla chips. As if this wasn’t grand enough, as I ate the restaurant began to fill. I love people watching and I must say that a Mexican restaurant at 3:15 in the afternoon is a fantastic place to do so.
One of the greatest demographics of people to watch has got to be, far and away, junior high girls. To my delight, the waitress seated a group of bubbly, awkward junior high girls directly next to my booth. As the girls critiqued everyone who walked past the window, they proceeded to order. All of them, with glee, ordered virgin margaritas. At this juncture, I must reflect on my own days as junior high student. I didn’t really have “friends,” in the strictest sense of the word. And if I did have “friends,” we would never have dreamed of sitting down for margaritas after school. We’d have been lucky to stop by Mike’s 76 for a candy bar, maybe even a pop if we were lucky. Hell, I remember a time when I felt pretty darn lucky if I got 25 cents to spend at the concession stand at the pool. Where are these kids’ parents and why have they (said parents) parted so willingly with their pocketbooks? There is nothing like a blatantly pessimistic commentary of contemporary society to put me in a chipper mood. Sounds a little dark, but honestly, I love those sorts of insights.
As I headed back to campus, with a full belly and a Pellegrino in hand, I decided to stop by the campus IT office for some assistance in connecting wirelessly to the network. I signed up months ago for the ability to do so, but have never quite figured out the proxies. I digress. It took a friendly, young nerd a few minutes to get me up and running. But as I waited I listened in on the frenzied conversation of a group of excitable geeks (it must be realized that I use these descriptors quite lovingly). They were jabbering away about the motion sensors in all of the new Mac laptops. Apparently there is a new failsafe mechanism in the new Macs that stops the hard drive if there is a sudden motion (drop) so that the disk won’t get scratched. This mechanism has brought much delight to the world of Mac nerdery. Smart individuals have figured out how to tinker with this motion sensor to make pinball games where you tilt your computer to play the game. It has even been used to turn your Mac into a lightsabre; as you swing your computer through the air, it makes the appropriate lightsabre sound as you accelerate or decelerate your very own iSabre. Delightful.
So here I am; full, wirelessly connected, and quite content. Though I am without an automobile, I fear not. For the train will whisk me back to the city at precisely 9:54 pm. I will, however, be a little lonely when I arrive. I love my wife and love spending time with her. We may be a little co-dependant, so the time apart will do us good. As for food, I’ll be fine. There is a Chipotle less than 6 blocks from our apartment.
Today has been, so far and by all accounts, a grand day.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Weekly Occurance?
Two weeks ago on a Sunday I posted a blog about a mouse eating from our candy jar. That same night I had to kill a cockroach that I found in our bathtub. Brandon was at work so he had to talk me through the killing over the phone. I didn't like it, but I did it and was successful. Well, it is Sunday again and what do you think I was treated to? Yes, a cockroach followed by a mouse.
I was cleaning my bathroom and went to clean the bathtub. I flung open the curtain and there was a huge (and by huge I mean 3 inches) cockroach. Brandon had not yet left for work, so I screamed and he came to my rescue. I then scoured the bathroom with bleach and Comet because there are few things grosser to me than roaches in the place were I go to get clean! I calmed down from the big hairy fit that I threw about the roach, Brandon left for work, and I was watching T.V. Out of the corner of my eye I saw something come scurrying out of our bedroom...not a cockroach, but definitely a mouse. I sat for three hours staring at the place I saw it go.
I finally left my post about 15 minutes ago because, well, I give up. I am super disappointed in myself. After the last incident I have been telling myself that I would not freak out, but handle the situation calmly and with dignity. No such luck, maybe next Sunday?
I was cleaning my bathroom and went to clean the bathtub. I flung open the curtain and there was a huge (and by huge I mean 3 inches) cockroach. Brandon had not yet left for work, so I screamed and he came to my rescue. I then scoured the bathroom with bleach and Comet because there are few things grosser to me than roaches in the place were I go to get clean! I calmed down from the big hairy fit that I threw about the roach, Brandon left for work, and I was watching T.V. Out of the corner of my eye I saw something come scurrying out of our bedroom...not a cockroach, but definitely a mouse. I sat for three hours staring at the place I saw it go.
I finally left my post about 15 minutes ago because, well, I give up. I am super disappointed in myself. After the last incident I have been telling myself that I would not freak out, but handle the situation calmly and with dignity. No such luck, maybe next Sunday?
So sad.
Yesterday tickets were released for the show of the millennium. At 12 pm tickets to Ben Gibbard with special guest, David Bazan, went on sale and were promptly sold out by 12:05 pm. I, unfortunately, was not one of the lucky. I was/am heartbroken. Abe has been scouring Craigslist and we have a couple emails out there, but I'm not sure if it will prove fruitful. If anyone has any leads, please let me know.
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