This is how I walked home tonight from work. It's around -10 degrees with a wind chill of around -30. A bit brisk, but I made the half-mile walk alright. I only had one problem...my eyelashes kept freezing together.Tonight at work I saw this homeless lady. I see her most every night I work. She's doubtlessly mentally unhealthy. And tonight, I'm sure, she'll be lucky if she lives to see the morning.
This is a hard city to live in. There is no end to the need. To think of doing anything is all at once, overwhelming and seemingly useless. When I was oriented at this job, I was warned that homeless people would try to sneak into the building. I thought about what I would do tonight if she tried to sneak in. What would I do?
Surrounded by the immensity and ever-present need of homelessness makes it so easy to grow cynical. It's so easy to slip into the mindset that these people can help themselves. Why worry, they've made their bed, let them sleep in it. If you don't want to be homeless quit using drugs. If you don't want to be cold tonight, try staying on your prescribed meds. If you don't want to sleep in an alley rolled up in carpet padding, go to a homeless shelter. But that attitude is just wrong, it's just so wrong.
The fact of the matter is that I deserve to be out there. Had it not been for socio-economic, geo-political, what-ever accident I could be out there in the full, deadly reality that I can't help myself up when I'm 66 feet below the bottom rung! It doesn't matter how or who got me here... I AM HERE. The gulf between my fingers and that bottom rung is too great, and it's growing each day. And, she is there. Helpless.
I've thought a lot about what I can or should be doing with the homeless and the beggars of this city. Filling backpacks with supplies. Volunteering at a shelter. Handing out food. Something, I know, is better than nothing. And I do need to do something, it's what my Master has called me to. But it's so overwhelming. There's no way that I can fill enough backpacks. There aren't enough beds in the shelters. There's never enough food. It's overwhelming. But tonight it is more than overwhelming... it's just beyond me. Tonight people will die.
Oh God, be with the homeless of this city tonight. Be with them in a miraculous way. Keep them warm in your arms in a way that defies comprehension and nature. Lord your eye is on even the smallest bird, don't look away from those in need of warmth tonight. Forgive me.
